The Yellow Origami Boat
Storms, the sun and small joys.
Darling One,
When the flood water were right up to, and inside, the front door of my unit complex I stepped into the almost knee high part of the water and there, floating, was a perfectly folded, bright yellow origami boat. The explanation as to how a perfectly made boat came to be floating in the flood water is simple, the kids in my complex had made them and sent them sailing. I didn’t have my phone on me, so I have no proof of the boats existence, just the memory, a memory that has stuck with me and become the perfect symbolic metaphor for what I think we should be seeking out right now.
Small joys.
Tiny delicious morsels of delight.
I listened to Brene Brown talk about the practice of joy with Karen Walrond this week and it was yet another balm in this joy-seeking, science of happiness, real fun, resarch and learning moment I’m amidst right now. This quote by Karen was exactly what I needed to hear…
“I will never apologise for embracing joy and beauty - even when the world is falling apart - because joy and beauty are my fuel for activism.”
The joy and the beauty are the reminders of what we’re fighting for, no? They’re the slithers of light in what feels bloody dark sometimes, and the reminders that other feeling states are possible. I don’t want to get swallowed by the anxiety of chaos and hopelessness, I want to take the agency I do have over my own nervous system and do what I can to maintain my optimism, and rational thought - because when I feel these things I can be of service, and I can help. And that’s what we need right now, helpers.
Calm in the storm, because the storm is inevitable, but the calm we have some control over.
So, the things this week that have buoyed my calm are:
Driving over my favourite bridge in Brisbane, and seeing someone on an electric scooter, their long blonde hair blowing behind them, with the widest, elated smile as they sped by.
Impromptu dress ups with gaudy pink eyeshadow and paper crowns.
Hugging someone I haven’t seen in a very long time, for a very long time.
Seeing someone riding their bike as their dog strides alongside them absolutely delighted by the quick pace.
Watching as someone helped an older woman to her car with an umbrella because she didn’t have one.
A video of a service dog having puppies in an airport and everyone cheering at getting to witness the miracle every time one was born.
Surprises from my loved ones like perfectly organised linen cupboards, and delivered lunch to my door.
I acknowledge that some days the calm will feel impossible, because the storm will feel like it’s consumed your entire body and the likelihood of it ever being sunny again will feel hard to grasp. I had one of these stormy days yesterday. And they’re hard. If you’re in the storm, if the storm is cracking lightening across your nerves, I see you. I’m sorry.
But, the rain will stop, there will be sun again, and when there is you might glimpse the perfect folds of bright yellow paper licking the surface of the brown water, and what you thought of it will change for a second. That’s all you need sometimes, isn’t it? A second of reprieve.
If you’re looking for your own reprieve, darling one, look for the origami boat. I reckon you’ll find it if you’re looking for it.
And when you do, let me know what it is.
Love,
Claire.
Morsels mentioned: