Take what you need, darling.

The pearls and ponderings of late.

Take what you need, darling. I’ve needed all of these of late:

Drink some water and take a breath.

You are so loved, darling.

There is no rush. This sense of a deadline to achieve that exists in your body isn’t real. It’s made up. It’s not yours. Let it go.

There’s this moment right now and that’s it, and yes, there’s future visioning, but that’s just to distil the next best present choice.

Be here now.

Next best choice.

Make the art that feels the most joyous.

Rejection is redirection.

Disappointment is valid. Feel it. Then allow it to highlight what you’re craving and work out the action you can take right now to give that to yourself.

There is no inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’ feelings – they’re all valid and welcome. Feel it all.

What you seek in your relationships with others, make sure you are also providing for yourself.

Be in relationships that add to your life, not detract.

Be in relationships that empower and embolden and not thieve your sparkle to fuel and heal themselves, offering little in return.

Reciprocity in relationship is vital.

We learn relationally, yes, but your relationship with yourself is the bar, this is your home.

The bar should be high.

You are the bar.

Be the bar.

You are expert on you.

You are the one who knows you the best.

You are all you need.

Limit the masochistic behaviour for the sake of it, and when it does happen, which it inevitably will, be swift to forgive and move on.

You can’t eat, pray, love your life on your phone watching other people do it.

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Hold space for yourself.

Be sad about the uncertainty of next steps.

Be sad, and anxious and worried about next steps because they’re real and they exist. Acknowledge their existence.

Acknowledge that you do feel helpless and stuck and like you don’t know how to solve it.

Acknowledge that that is only one truth, and that multiple truths can co-exist, because you are also capable and smart, and you can make shit happen.

You don’t have to rush to solve it.

You don’t have to fix anything.

You gotta pour into your own cup first.

Stop giving away all your energy away for free.

Your life. Your rules.

Fuck the rules imposed upon you that attempt to make you smaller, quieter, digestible.

BE INDIGESTABLE.

BE UNGOVERNABLE.

BE A LAW UNTO YOURSELF.

BE A COMPASSOINATE BADDIE.

DO NO HARM. TAKE NO SHIT.

Pause more. Check-in more.

Say the true thing.

You before the world.

Stop and ask yourself…How does this really make me feel? What does this feel like in my body?

If you feel unsure, ask.

If you want to know more, ask.

Your questions are valid.

Lead with curiosity.

You are a god damn miraculous unicorn and you’ve been settling for shit. So, no wonder you feel like shit.

If you’re tired. Rest.

NOT YOUR GARDEN. NOT YOUR WEEDS.

Let them. Disappoint them, if it means not disappointing yourself.

They are who they are. Believe them. Believe their actions more than their words. You get to choose whether you opt in or opt out.

You do not have to engage. You do not have to take part.

You try so hard but you don’t have to, darling, You can just take a breath. That’s enough.

You’re enough.

Go slow.

Nourish that body, that mind, that soul, that heart with sunlight and joyful movement, with fibre and the words of poets, with mysticism, orgasms and funk music.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are entirely worthy. Exactly as you are.

You are chooseable.

You matter.

Choose you. Choose you over and over and over again. Every time. Choose you.

Ask for help.

In the moments you are overthinking, take a breath and come back to gratitude.

Try the things you’re curious about. Let curiosity lead.

Date yourself. Delight yourself. Please yourself.

Please please yourself.

Your pleasure is political.

There is no guilt in your pleasure. Be a hopeful romantic.

There is no shame your desire for romance.

Romance yourself.

What makes you feel good? What lights you up? Do that. Do it often.

Fuck the rules.

I love you.

Love Claire.

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Pearler is written and created on the unceded lands of the Yuggera and Turrbal people here in Meanjin, and I pay my deep respect to First Nation Elders past and present. This always was, and always will be Aboriginal land.

I don’t believe I can wholeheartedly support sovereignty of this land I live, love and work on without acknowledging the liberation of Palestine and honoring the impacts of colonisation of Indigenous people everywhere else.