Darling you,
Your longing doesn’t lie.
So, what do you want? Really truly want? Not the to-do list that pertains to all the stuff that needs to be done, that you should do, or have, or be. I’m talking about the signals in your solar plexus, the soft whispers in your heart, the secret delight that flutters when you see it, or think about it. What is that thing?
I ask because I can’t think of the last time someone asked me. And I wonder if in the consensus of living by the rules and the should’s and the way you always have, you have forgotten to pay attention to, as Mary Oliver puts it, “the soft animal of your body.”
So, what do you want? What do you long for?
If that answer is clear, imagine I’m popping glitter cannons and gold (sustainable) foil strips are falling sweetly around your being, as I play Diana Ross and we lovingly high-five. I want you to feel like taking the next step towards this thing is doable and worthwhile. Because I assume you are fully aware of all the reasons why it’s not, and why you are silly for thinking that you could. Our critic, our saboteur and fear are like a three headed bolden suit and tie stiff assessing risk and doing everything in their power to make sure you don’t get hurt, rejected, or look stupid. Their job is to keep you safe at all costs. But, you know better, your yearning knows better. What is one micro, joyous thing can you do this week to honour the truth of it? I’m talking tiny. I’m talking saying it aloud, day dreaming about it, saving an photo of it in your phone, making an enquiry etc.
And if you don’t know. If the stuff you’re navigating today is louder than your longing, then that’s understandable…everything we’re supposed to do/be/have is so fucking noisy. So, steal away a few minutes and think about the things that you have to do that enrage you, that make you furious, that grind your gears, and if it’s not rage, think about the things that steal your energy. What tips you into lethargy? What feels heavy? Because I bet your longing is hidden somewhere in the fear, the fury and the ambivalence. And then think about what actions you can take to lighten the way these things feel. Maybe it’s asking for help, outsourcing, boxing, or adding more good stuff to your plate. Even if that’s just for five minutes. But make those five minutes sacred. Be devotional to those five minutes, because you feeling good is the priority.
You do not need to suffer.
I see you. I see your desire, and I think it suits you.
Love Claire.