Breathe, float and enjoy the ride.

What love has to say.

Here is the audio version of this post in case you prefer, or need, me to read it to you.

There’s a man in high-vis on my roof who showed up unexpectedly, he has a loud leaf blower and the leaves are falling down next to my office window like crunchy, brown snowflakes. Matt Corby is singing about miraculous love in my ears, the sky is blue and there are thin, patchy white clouds that look they’ve been dabbed on with a paint brush. This would all feel so much more beautiful if the black and orange leaf blower didn’t keep appearing over the edge of the roof in my periphery and the pitch of said blower wasn’t so specifically annoying.

I came here to write about something else entirely, but I was reading back through my past few journal pages this morning and have felt compelled to share something else entirely. I’m a journaller, I’ve always been a journaller. I make sense of the world through my fingertips, pen on the page or fingers on these keys, and I work out how I feel. Lately, I’ve been writing to love and listening to what love has to say back. It’s a creative process that Liz Gilbert has been doing for years, and I’ve done it on and off but since she created her Substack I’ve been doing it more regularly, and am always delighted by the response that pours through.

So, this is what love has had to say to me of late, which I thought you might like, or need, to hear too…

Dearest Love, what do you wish to share today?

Oh, my darling, there's so much fear, so much flight, so much control, so much NOISE. Come here, come here, every day. Feel into your body. Feet on the earth. Less noise. More internal presence. Pay attention to breath.

I’m just trying so hard and I don’t know how to sit with this unsure feeling, this uncertainty.

Life is uncertainty. We’ve learnt that over and over again, no more than this year, and the learning is this...You have no control, my darling. People will message when they message, opportunities will come when they do, your energy matters. You can influence your joy, your honesty, where you place your attention, honoring of what feels real, but that’s it.

Next best choice.

More stillness. More stopping. Less input. Everything is figure-out-able. You have a safety net. 

The chaos is imposed and doesn’t allow for much space. Allowing comes in the space, and in the space you can create.

More delight walks.

More sitting and pondering

More pen to page...just because.

More presence and less disassociating

More calm.

But love, how do I sit in the uncertainty, the want and the reality?

You breath, my darling, one moment at a time because in 100 years none of this chaos will mean anything…the chaos isn’t your legacy, it’s how you make people feel, and maybe the words on the page, and the words on the page can only come when you feel relaxed…and you feel relaxed when there’s space.

So make space.

What else love, I feel so unmoored.

And that’s okay, darling one, you don’t need to fix that feeling. There is nothing to fix. You are not broken. You are exactly as you are and that is enough. You can be unmoored because you’ll never actually be lost. You can’t float away, darling. You’re here. And you’ve got you. And you know that no matter what you'll be okay. 

You’re not broken. You’re enough. 

And we will repeat this loving declaration as many times over as you need.

Breathe, darling one, float. And enjoy the ride.

I love you.

Control the controllable…which, as it turns out is very little.

Love Claire.

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Things to know…

Pearler Zine Issue Two is up for pre-order now and will be open for a week. Order it here. This issue is all about stories, and daydreaming and the inner swathe of characters and voices I carry around with me. It also included the original first draft before anyone else read it, before I changed my mind about how I wanted it to end, ending of It’s Been A Pleasure, Noni Blake, as a nod to creativity and storytelling and inner critics and as a fancy Christmas bonus.

I also have Pleasure Fiction spots available which is an offering i’ve made where you tell me who you’d like a romance scene written about and I’ll bring it to life. Think of it like specific fan fiction for you and your crush…me fictionalising your fantasy as a comical gift or keepsake.

I have a 8 week writers group course happening in January with the delicious Avid Reader called Writers Play Group for anyone who has an idea they want to play and commit to. Actually, you might not even have an idea, you might just want the accountability and push to commit to your writing, that’s okay too. There’ll be creative prompts, delicious conversation, room for sharing and feedback and time to write and I’m really excited about it. Bookings are through Avid Reader and I know there’s payment plans available if you get in touch with the team.

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Pearler is written and created on the unceded lands of the Yuggera and Turrbal people here in Meanjin, and I pay my deep respect to First Nation Elders past and present. This always was, and always will be Aboriginal land.

I also want to acknowledge the atrocity and genocide we’re seeing play out in Palestine right now. I don’t believe I can wholeheartedly support sovereignty of this land I live on without honouring the impacts of colonisation of Indigenous people everywhere else. We need ongoing and final ceasefire.

I also want to acknowledge the silencing of voices and proactive gestures happening right now and come back to this quote by Meyne Wyatt from his play City of Gold,

“Silence is violence. Complacency is complicity.”

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